The Deadly Doughnut

Posted: July 30, 2014 by writingsprint in Science fiction
Tags: , , , ,
Voodoo doughnut

The “Old Dirty Bastard” by Voodoo Doughnut

Kevin jumped from a sound like a popping paper bag. He was about to ask nobody in particular what the hell happened when he heard himself say, “Don’t eat that doughnut!”

It was just two inches from his mouth. Sweet dreams of marble-frosted sugar and cake swam in his head. Kevin looked up and saw himself, looking completely pissed. It was the ugliest thing he’d ever seen.

“No way.”

“For Christ’s sake. Say something else, will you?”

“What, we’ve met before?”

“Six times. Don’t eat the doughnut.”

It was calling him. A block of fattening heaven. Kevin didn’t mind paying the price. His curiosity at Future Kevin overcame his hunger. “So what gives? You don’t look more than six months into my future,” he said.

“Eleven.”

“How are you time traveling?”

“A little hustle and a lot of blackmail. I’ll break down for you. You eat the doughnut, get a cavity, see the dentist, lose your tooth, miss an audition, and the schlub who got the role is working on a new role in Hollywood.”

“Shit! You’re kidding.”

Future Kevin lifted his left lip high up on his cheek. Halfway along his jaw, he had a gap where one of his molars used to be.

Kevin asked, “Why didn’t you get a replacement?”

“Long story. Don’t eat the damned doughnut already!”

Kevin’s stomach grumbled. He’d been looking forward to this all morning. This was the one treat he allowed himself on his diet. It wasn’t fair. “I promise you, I will brush my teeth as soon as I finish this.”

“Kevin, so help me God…”

He took a mouthful of the doughnut. It was the best-tasting doughnut he’d ever had.

Future Kevin threw up his arms. “You stupid son of a…”

The air rushed in around Future Kevin. For a second he looked like a sand painting of himself that someone had sneezed next to, then the air popped again. Kevin jumped again.

He finished his doughnut. Future Kevin should have known he wouldn’t listen. He didn’t believe in fate. Besides, timelines changed all the time. What made him think that—

The air popped again. Kevin looked up.

Future Kevin—about five years older—grabbed the rest of the doughnut and threw it over his shoulder into a time warp. He handed Kevin a paste-smeared toothbrush and a cup of water. “Start brushing, wise guy, or I’ll bust that tooth out myself.”

Today’s post is inspired by the Daily Prompt, “190 Days Later.” This year is turning out better than I expected, which says a lot. Last year, I started a new job which I love, I had a niece’s graduation and a fantastic vacation to look forward to, and I made a commitment to self-publish my first novel. The job gets better every day, I feel truly inspired and blessed to know my niece, the vacation was awesome, and I feel more pride about the novel than even I expected. I’m a lucky man.

Things are not turning out the way Kevin expected, though. Hence the time travel.

Photo credit: “Voodoo Doughnut – Old Dirty Bastard” by camknows at Flickr
Photo is unmodified
Shared under Creative Commons license

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Comments
  1. theveganmuffinwoman says:

    Hahaha this is great!!

    Like

  2. mbjennings says:

    This is brill! A little David Wong, a little Richard Matheson. Awesome. Let us know how your novel publishing adventure works out (am doing the same!). Oh, and that donut looks like the most wonderfully disgusting concoction I’ve seen in a long while.

    Like

    • Thanks! I’ve never read either writer so I’ll make sure to check them out. I’m just beginning to explore the marketing side. I’m looking for reviews and wondering how else to let people know it’s out there, while staying focused on writing.

      Lucky me, I prefer bagels in the morning 🙂 , otherwise I’d be addicted to something like this.

      Liked by 1 person

      • mbjennings says:

        Have you ever read J.A. Konrath’s blog (at http://jakonrath.blogspot.com/2010/07/how-to-make-money-on-ebooks.html)? Or checked out Hugh Howey’s site at http://www.hughhowey.com/? They offer wonderful advice on marketing and selling. When I determine what to do with my novel (which I’ve only had edited and am going through beta-reading right now), I will probably lean more towards the self-pub route since the traditional route is slowly fading. Anyway, much luck to you! I’ll be sure and check it out from your site here!

        Like

      • I haven’t. Thanks for the advice! I’m bookmarking these.

        I became jaded by the traditional route after a pile of rejections. It reminded me of job hunting: it’s much easier if you have someone on the inside who knows the quality of your work already. If you self-publish, have a good editor and have your friends in your writers group (I think everyone needs to be in one) scrub it before it goes out the door.

        Best of luck to you too!

        Like

  3. A.D. Everard says:

    I like it! There’s HEAPS of fun in this idea. 😀

    Like

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