Spider Suit

Posted: April 14, 2014 by writingsprint in Fantasy
Tags: , , , , , ,

Tawakoni spider web

Tawakoni spider web

Carl felt a nasty itch on his right shoulder. He saw a fairy trying to dig through his suit. Where the hell did it get in?! Carl slapped it hard. His hand was stained with glowing yellow fluid.

The chimney. He forgot the chimney, and the kitchen vent, and the central air conditioner… who knew what else.

He started to reach for the chimney flue but saw it blocked by a pair of spider webs. “Weave on, brothers!” Carl yelled. There were two blocking the kitchen hood, too. Drunkenly-flitting fairies flew straight into them and vanished into puffs of nothing. They looked gross and it freaked Carl out, but he’d deal with his squeamishness if he lived another day.

Two fairies came out of an air conditioning vent and landed on his arm. He could hear them yelling little battle cries as they scratched at the suit. Carl pounded his arm on the floor. The one on the bottom screamed and went splat. The one on top flew off before he could get to it, then it came at his face. He crushed one in his fist. More came at him. Carl swat his arms and legs. Where were they coming from? Carl turned the air conditioner on full and hoped that anything that went near it would get turned into fairy hamburger by the fan.


The attic fan.

Carl looked toward the stairs. A handful of fairies came flying down. He didn’t have any mosquito netting left. Maybe he could turn the fan off and stuff it with insulation?

He slapped at a few more on his suit. He was covered in glowing splotches.

He saw spiders coming in through the chimney and the kitchen vent. Carl gulped. He moaned as he put his hand down in front of them and let them crawl onto him. “They’re outside the suit. They’re outside the suit. They’re not touching me.” They started spinning their magic webs on him. He pulled his arm away and a wing of silk pulled with it. “Oh, Godddd….”

Carl almost threw up inside the suit. He ran up to the attic.

The attic was a maelstrom of fairies fighting spiders. Spiders fell, bloodied. Fairies spun into the webs or flew crazily into the walls and the floor, twitched and didn’t move again. The fairies charged Carl when they saw him. He could hear them scream in horror as the webbing on his suit clutched at them.

“You bastard!” one clearly yelled. Then it gurgled and vanished in a cloud of glitter that faded away into nothing.

Carl walked from one end of the room to the other, covering himself in spiders and webs. He screamed as multiples of them walked across his face. Carl promised to send the man who invented mosquito netting a Christmas card.

He stopped seeing fireflies. Carl looked around. The spiders were running off him, taking their webs with them. It sounded like crinkling plastic wrap. The webs disappeared as they touched the ground. A trail of spiders… there must have been dozens of them… made their way out of the house by the attic vent. Carl watched them go, then watched them clear out of the yard as well. One by one, the webs dissolved, turning from silk into wisps, and from wisps into nothing.

The evening news team showed up. Carl went down to say hi. There wasn’t anything for them to film.

  1. A.D. Everard says:

    I’ll have you know, you’re changing my attitude to spiders. 🙂


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