Love, Like and Lust

Posted: March 27, 2014 by writingsprint in Essay
Tags: , , , , , ,

cute coupleIt occurred to me that have a successful relationship there are three things that you need to have with them: you need to love them, you need to like them, and you need lust after them.

Now, the Beatles said that all you need is love. There’s merit to that. I would say that love, caring, is the most important of the three. If you don’t care about someone, you’re not going to like them, and you’re going to have a very cold sexual connection that isn’t any more fun than a porno magazine.

Liking someone means that you could hang out with them. It helps to have similar interests. It’s even better if your partner has different interests from you, that you normally wouldn’t be caught dead trying, but which you try because you’re with them. My wife hasn’t been to a comic book convention yet, but I think one of these years she may go with me. I normally wouldn’t have tried sushi, but just last week I did, because she enjoys it.

Lust gets a bad rep, and in my devout years growing up I would have kept my distance from it. I learned. A friend of mine once said to me, your brain is a three-pound organ in a 150-pound body. There’s more to you than your mind. We crave physical affection, and feeling sexy is a healthy part of who we are. The problem is it gets wrapped around media and expectations and outright bullshit. Accept your body and smile at the person you see in the mirror. That’s what sexy feels like. Find what you like and be passionate about it. That’s even sexier than how you look. If you love someone and like someone, they will become the sexiest person in your world. Listen to music that makes you feel good. Give your partner’s butt a squeeze when they’re not expecting it—as long as they’re not handling power tools or something, let’s be real. Dance when there’s no reason to. Some people say that’s romance, not lust. Not if you’re dancing the right way, it isn’t.

Check in with your partner and see how they’re doing, just because. Hang out in the ways that you both like doing, whether it’s grabbing a burger or heckling the evening news. And do things that your parents said you shouldn’t do, because, well, they were doing them too.

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Comments
  1. A.D. Everard says:

    You’ve got it exactly right. It’s a wonderful way of being aware of the layers of a relationship and of keeping a relationship fresh and full of appreciation. One of the Secrets of Life, I think.

    Like

    • Thanks! I totally agree it’s one of the Secrets of Life. You really need all three. Caring is important, but what’s caring if you just don’t like being with someone? And if you’re in a committed relationship, let’s face it, physical pleasure matters, whether it’s a back rub or sex.

      Like

      • A.D. Everard says:

        Agreed. We’re physical animals and physical contact is important. You’re right, too, in that you cannot care for someone without liking them first. It’s all interconnected.

        Like

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