Voice Week 2013: Racing

Posted: November 5, 2013 by writingsprint in Drama
Tags: , , , , ,

Why is this happening to me? When will this be over?

I think I’ve got at least two blisters on my feet. It was bad four miles ago. Now I can’t run straight. I have a hitch in my side and I look like I have partial paralysis. I’ll bet they’re bleeding.

I’m not walking. I don’t care if my jog is slower than the slowest person in this race.

I want to die.

I can see the medics watching me. They’re waiting for me to fall down so they can run in and help. Stop watching me, you vultures.

I’ve come too far. I am finishing this damned race if I have to drag myself across by my fingernails.

This post was brought to you by the prompt “racing” from Voice Week 2013 at Be Kind Rewrite.

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Comments
  1. […] Read the rest Voice Week 2013: Racing | The Daily 400. […]

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  2. I find this painfully amusing. This is closer to what would be going through my mind if I tried to run a marathon. I like that the determination is still there (though I admit I’m not sure I would have it), though the confidence of yesterday’s voice is not. I admire this voice more for his tenacity.

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    • writingsprint says:

      Thanks! This one’s been training for a very, very long time. She ran harder than the first voice, and just happened to get blisters on race day. The first voice would have walked or given up. Thanks!

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  3. totally opens up a vivid and ugly side of racing not felt by the first voice. this character seems so much more desperate.

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    • writingsprint says:

      Desperate is right! I was glad I put her close to the finish line, otherwise the medics might have stopped her. I don’t think they’re allowed to, officially, but if she collapses, I think they have to help.

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  4. Haha! Great twist. I love the stubbornness of this voice.

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  5. evan72 says:

    I love the disjointedness of the character’s internal monologue. It does a great job explaining what’s going on inside the character. Kudos to this one, though, for not giving up!

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    • writingsprint says:

      Thanks! I’ve never had blisters on race day but I’ve cramped up something fierce. Race pain is awful. She’s got something to prove and is going to be happy when it’s all over.

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  6. jubilare says:

    Hahaha! This would probably be me, save I would give up and walk. This one has a lot less spunk, and a sharp tongue to boot. I wonder what he/she is like when not exhausted and determined, though.

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    • writingsprint says:

      Thanks! She’s a spitfire, also someone you can count on. Maybe a nurse. She was loosely based on athletes I knew in high school and a swim instructor I knew a few years ago.

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  7. yikici says:

    Awww I feel for this chap, poor thing, love his determination and belief in himself to complete the race, you’ve captured the reality of this really well, with added humorous touches, the medics as vultures just made me smile, brilliant creativity. 🙂

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  8. jenniesisler says:

    I could almost feel her pain reading this – the desperation and determination really come through here. Interesting change of voice from your other more experienced runners.

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