Voice Week 2013: Racing

Posted: November 4, 2013 by writingsprint in Slice of Life, Writing
Tags: , , , ,

I can’t believe I’m about to finish a marathon! My legs feel like jelly and my lungs feel like flapping burned newspaper, but you know what, I really don’t care because this is so fucking cool! God, I’m tired. And it’s making me laugh.

I see the finish line! Should I kick it in? Why not. I may throw up but I know I’ll make it. Hee hee hee, check out the nut job sprinting the last hundred yards! Oof… ow… maybe this isn’t such a good idea. Nah, tell you what, what’s ten more seconds of pain. Wait a second… I’m going to walk backwards over the finish line. And a one, and a two… and a three!

This post was brought to you by the prompt “racing” from Voice Week 2013 at Be Kind Rewrite.

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Comments
  1. jubilare says:

    What an interesting character! I was waiting for there to be real health-issues pending, but even now I am not discounting that. Great sense of fun, in any case.

    Like

  2. […] Read the rest at Voice Week 2013: Racing | The Daily 400. […]

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  3. You convey the mood so well! I guy who’s not afraid of work and pain, in it for the glory, and especially the fun.

    Like

  4. evan72 says:

    Very nicely done. I did feel like you were talking from a point directly out of a runner’s mouth, rather than from a third-person writer’s view. Great job!

    Like

  5. elmowrites says:

    Great sense of anticipation and comedy here. I definitely got an feel for the character behind the voice

    Like

  6. theinnerzone says:

    This is great! A close up of character who isn’t afraid to be tired and is having fun!

    Like

  7. i love the voice conveyed through really specific word choices; it introduces a character who kinda roots for himself so the reader wants to root for him too

    Like

  8. This character is hilarious! So scatter-brained and youthful. I love it. 😀

    Like

  9. LLDFiction says:

    Awesome piece, very fun internal dialogue. I have a hard time being light and fun at times. Good work!

    Like

    • writingsprint says:

      Thanks! Fun’s not easy. You can lose credibility if you drag it out too long. With this one I had help — my brother told me how he felt when he finished his half marathon, and I could really, really hear it in his voice. In a longer scene I would have gone into specifics on people who were cheering for the racers.

      Like

  10. yikici says:

    This is just brilliant, love the humorous nature of this character, and their touch of arrogance? Really enjoyed reading this, reminded me of the half-marathon walk I did a few weeks ago, you’ve captured this well. 🙂

    Like

  11. jenniesisler says:

    I love this character! He made me smile with his hijinks at the end. If you’re going to torture yourself running a marathon you might as well have as much fun as you can. If I tried to go backwards over the finish line I’d trip over my feet and need the medics.

    Like

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