Scene from a Hospital Room: Uncle Jerry

Posted: September 29, 2011 by writingsprint in postaday2011, postaweek2011, Writing
Tags: , ,

“Do you want to hold her?” Jerry’s mom asked.

“I… no, that’s okay,” he said. He knew this would happen. He’d never held a baby before, in his life, and he was afraid he’d drop her or do something else stupid. He knew he really wouldn’t, but… this was a baby!

“Go ahead. It’s all right.”

Jerry looked at Marie and Paul. Marie giving him an encouraging kind of smile, and Paul was just looking. Jerry knew he’d jump in if there was any problem.

“Okay. Help me out here.”

“Just take her in your arms… hold her head higher. There you go.” It felt weird. Somehow he thought she would be more compact, but she was so bundled under blankets that he could barely feel Jenny herself. Whatever. Jerry looked at the others and smiled. For some reason this felt like a rite of passage… but then it was, kind of. He wasn’t the father or anything, but now he was an uncle, and he’d never held a baby before. This was one of the most important moments of his life.

Jenny opened her eyes. Beautiful, ocean blue eyes stared at him.

Needless to say, in the real life moment, I was ‘Jerry.’

This scene is part of Voice Week from Be Kind Rewrite. Check it out!

  1. Favorite so far. I’m just going “aww” all over the place. Is that you in the pic?


  2. […] Read the rest: Scene from a Hospital Room: Uncle Jerry « The Daily 400. […]


  3. scribbla says:

    Awesome! Congratulations on Uncledom. You rendered the whole scene of the family in the room out very tenderly and I, as the reader, could not help but feel the miracle of the moment and the incredible family bond. Be sure to keep this week’s writing for your neice to read one day. And don’t worry – caring for kids gets more instinctive once the initial distance is closed.


  4. Mike says:

    Another lovely piece of writing.
    You captured so well that moment when you first hold a baby – scary and exhilarating at the same time. A moment that stays with you for ever.


  5. I like the trepidation with which this was written – very believable, very nice.


  6. Janece says:

    This was very touching to me. I watched my own son react/behave very much like this when he held his sister’s first child, for the first time (my grandson). You managed to catch that poignant awkwardness and fear and relay it to the reader. WONDERFUL! (and congrats to you and your family? :)…)


  7. writingsprint says:

    Thanks again everybody for the wonderful advice!!!


  8. robinhawke says:

    Thank you so much for sharing this. It’s a healthy reminder of what’s good and right. This family is one I’ll remember. Robin


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