Yoga is in the House

Posted: September 13, 2011 by writingsprint in postaday2011, postaweek2011, Yoga
Tags: , , , ,

Redneck Yoga

Redneck Yoga: Good. Now breathe deeply.

I’ve been taking a yoga teacher training class, and soon I’m going to have to stand in front of a room full of my fellow students and teach them for an hour and 15 minutes. (Insert picture of me screaming HERE, or my brain dissolving into a pool of jelly.)

The big challenge is, how do I remember 40 yoga poses, when I can barely remember 10 digits in a phone number? Not just the poses, but how to teach each one, and smooth transitions between the poses. Step 1: I have 4 weeks to study and practice, so STUDY and PRACTICE! Step 2: Method of Loci. I’m going to use the memory technique where you imagine something familiar, like a place that you know very well, place landmarks within it, and use those landmarks to imprint what you’re trying to remember. I haven’t used it in a long time, but I used to love Method of Loci. Vivid images make the method more effective, and I’m the king of vivid, silly images.

I have 40 poses to remember. There are three floors in my house. The third floor is the warmup, the second floor is the main workout, and the first floor is the cool-down. I’m making the front door the very last step, so that I connect saying goodbye with leaving the house. The third floor bedroom looks something like this:

My wife’s closet Crocodile pose A crocodile is sitting in the dirty laundry
My closet Cobra pose A cobra is hissing from among my ties
Easy chair in the corner Baby dog pose A puppy is barking and jumping around like a nut on the chair
TV and DVD player Downward facing dog pose An older dog is jumping into the “let’s play!” pose, in front of the TV
My dresser Monkey pose A monkey is shrieking and leaping up and down on top of my dresser. Amazing, no books get knocked over
The bed Twist from monkey pose Another monkey is spinning on our bed like a whirling dervish. He’s wearing a funny outfit and tassels are flying
My wife’s dresser Overhead stretch Nothing especially wild here; me reaching for the sky, with my hands up among the stars. I can knock them around like they were a mobile hanging down from the ceiling
A side table with flowers Shoulder and neck stretches Me doing shoulder rolls and neck stretches. My body looks rubbery, like plastic man

As you can see, my bedroom is now a cross between a jungle, a zoo, and a circus, but that’s the best way for me to remember. How am I ever going to clean it up?

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