Dream Girl

Posted: August 17, 2011 by writingsprint in Dream Girl, Fantasy, postaday2011, postaweek2011, Weird, Writing
Tags: , , , , ,

Dream Girl

Do you see me?

This is inspired by the prompt “Don’t let me go” from Inspiration Monday. I always wanted to write a story inspired by the video for Evanscence’s “Bring Me to Life,” which grabs me every time I watch it. Did she want to let go, or did he fail to save her? Is it a dream, or is she a ghost?

More to come.

Tom sat bolt upright. His body was sheened with sweat, and he breathed fast, hard, quick, shallow, hot knife blows in his throat. He saw his bedroom, Jimi Hendrix on the wall and his guitar where he’d left it after practice, but it didn’t connect. He didn’t feel right. Through a cottony muffle, he heard cars going by on 19th street, fourteen dark floors below him.

He didn’t know what woke him up. It felt like —

A girl walked past the window.

He jumped back so hard he almost cut his back in the wooden edges of his headboard. A girl. A simple white slip, translucent white skin, raven black hair, casual steps on bare feet that were heedless of the hundred-foot drop off the foot-wide ledge that she walked on. Tom ground the heel of his palm hard into his eyes and bit his tongue. It hurt like a son of a bitch. He had to be awake.

He didn’t imagine her, either. The girl walked past his second window. She pivoted — he saw her back, then she kept walking — and he saw her smile as she faced the window. She bobbed her head, dancing lightly to music that only she heard.

An image snapped inside his head of a skull when that smile, that beautiful, joyful, closed-eyed smile, was turned towards him.

She walked out of sight, farther along the building, past his apartment.

  1. writingsprint says:

    Thank you! Wait until he tries to help her…


  2. Fantastic work. And extra awesome points for writing about an Evanescence song.

    A hearty welcome to InMon! Be sure to shoot me a link when you post the next part.


    • writingsprint says:

      Thank *you* for the inspiration! I’ll definitely forward a link for the next piece, which should wrap up the first scene :).


  3. Pink Woods says:

    OooH, this is a little bit creepy!


  4. Kay Camden says:

    Great writing. Your sensory details are fabulous.


    • writingsprint says:

      Thanks! “You write what you read,” and I’ve been reading Stephen King’s “Under the Dome” lately. He always writes with rich nuggets of detail.


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