Life is short. Ski with elk.

Posted: February 26, 2011 by writingsprint in Fun Stuff, postaday2011, postaweek2011, Writing
Tags: , , , , , , ,
Someone who skis much better than I do

Someone who skis much better than I do

Elk Mountain, that is, in northeastern Pennsylvania.

For the past three years I’ve been too busy at work to take any of the trips with the company ski club. They arrange trips with discounted lift tickets and ski rentals, and rent a bus so I can just sit in there and snooze while they drive up to Elk at 6:00 in the morning, and while the bus drives back at 5-ish at night. After a full day of skiing, zonking out with the headphones on is what the doctor ordered for this guy. Anyway, like I said, I made one trip, had to cancel a trip one year and was so swamped the following year that I didn’t even plan one. But this year, dammit, I was going to get some snow! The best part is having a lovely wife who encouraged me to go even though the sensible thing was to probably stay home and do… whatever needs to be done around the house.

I’d love to tell you stories about how I went up to the mountain, made it tremble with fear, and carved powder with such precision that I gave the mountain tattoos that other skiers will be forced to wear whenever they venture into what is now my domain. Pffft. Maybe in James Bond’s life, but not mine. I suck at skiing, but I love it, too. Skiing’s a combination of playing in snow, enjoying winter wonderland, spending all day out in the cold and loving it, dancing, fighting, taking your life into your hands, and… and that’s all I’ve got for now. If I think of some more metaphors I’ll let you know.

Playing in snow, spending all day in the cold and loving it. Adults who don’t ski only get to shovel snow and drive in it. They don’t know how to enjoy it anymore other than watching a pretty snowfall or pegging one of their neighbors with a snowball.

Winter wonderland. When you’re on the chair lift heading up to the top of the mountain, you have about five minutes of peace and quiet, maybe broken up by the sounds of the skiiers shooting by below you, but more than likely, not. It’s quiet and you have nothing to do but look around at the snow-covered trees and hillside below you. I like it. Nay, I love it. It’s one of my favorite parts of skiing and it’s probably a part that most people don’t even think about.

Dancing. The amazing thing about skiing… at least at the noob level… is that you don’t need to work that hard to do it. It’s not about forcing your legs through the snow, it’s about balance, where you put your weight, and how you lean. Don’t think so? Watch a child ski. They don’t give them ski poles because they won’t use them properly anyway. The child can go anywhere the adults can, because they only need to point their toes and balance properly.

Can you hear me now?


Fighting. It may be basically effortless when done properly, but anyone who slices and dices snow and isn’t thinking about wrestling a tiger doesn’t have a pulse. BANZAI!!!!!

Taking your life into your hands. When the hill is too steep, the slope is too narrow, the trail is merging into another one, and you don’t know if you’re going to make it to the bottom alive or without taking someone else with you, the fear is part of the fun.

(Just kidding.)

(Not really.)


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